Tuesday, July 12, 2011


Hello, and welcome to When One Is Not Enough, our great new blog dedicated to the wonderful world of ménage fiction. I was completely thrilled to be asked to get involved as I adore reading and writing ménage stories. Please check out my above author page for listings of all my books featuring three or more.

The theme of three people together has always been popular in fiction, many esteemed writers such as Ernest Hemingway (The Garden of Eden) and Dylan Thomas (Under Milk Wood) wrote about relationships when a third person was introduced. Of course not just in fiction but in art we also see famous artists dabbling with the subject.

Theodore Gericault Three Lovers  - 1817

The subject of threesomes has not waned over the years if anything I think its grown. The first ménage book I read was Maya Banks ‘Colter’s Woman’, a truly awesome story if you get the chance to read it, and it certainly catapulted me into a wonderful sub-genre of reading and writing. I began searching out ménage books, not to say I wasn’t still reading m/f erotic romance, I was, but I liked to settle into a good three or foursome.

I’m not sure what it is about ménage books that captures our imagination. Is it because ménage is a fantasy only a few of us indulge in? Maybe it’s a bit of research before approaching a third party and having a try. Perhaps it’s the emotional involvement of three people which is fascinating, the extra person to think off, care for. I adored writing Shared and Shared Too, which are full length novels featuring a threesome who are in love and committed, but the guys are not into each other, although there is a strong bond between them they are not lovers, the heroine, Ariane gets all their attention. Is it the thought of having two hunks adoring one woman, looking after her every need both in and out of the bedroom  that is the lure – it certainly appeals to me and I am sure features on many ladies fantasy lists.

During my writing of these sexy novels I have come across the basic guidelines for ménage. Today, just for fun, I thought I would share them with you so you know where I’m coming from when I write or natter about threesomes. This list is aimed at a woman getting together with a couple of hunks, a bit like Ariane in my Shared series. Of course if it was two girls and a guy or all male/all female it would look different :-)

Here goes…

Establish boundaries

If you're going to have sex with two men then all three of you will have limits which may differ, so understanding and respecting one another's comfort levels should be a top priority. Talk beforehand and establish what you are up for and what is a definite no-no for each you! If they can’t respect your rules then this isn’t going to work. There is a difference from being taken out of your comfort zone and trying something new and exciting to doing something you simply don’t want to do.


Remember each guy may suddenly feel jealous, so try your best not to shut either out. Think equal give and take at all times and keep in mind that the object of the game is to share sex between three people, not two with one watching – unless of course that has been previously agreed. Mmm, that can be fun sometimes.


Although some people try to drink their way to bravery for a threesome, drunken sex usually ends up being bad sex. If you want to have a glass of wine or two to loosen up, that's fine, but no more. You want to be at optimum performance as well as perfectly tuned into your body for all that delicious arousal.


Pleasure in one-on-one sex goes back and forth, but in a threesome it's more of a cycle that moves from person to person. So focus on turning each man on. To do that you will need to multi-task, but hey, we’re women, we can do that, so be generous with your hands and mouth even if, for example you are receiving oral sex, your hands and mouth are still free. Get busy, girl!

Thoughtful penetration

Penetration automatically forms a bond between you and one man, leaving the other out. For this reason, allow penetration only when you're sure both men are comfortable with it. Your natural inclination will be to pay close attention to the man burying himself deep inside you, but you mustn't focus on him entirely. This is about the three of you, so keep that thought in mind. Kiss and touch the other man, look him in the eye, and talk to him if the mood is appropriate. If you are comfortable with having double penetration then make sure the guys have the logistics and the lube sorted, you’re not going to be able to concentrate!

Be Safe

Condoms are a necessity if this is not a committed, long term relationship between all three of you.


I would say for newbies at threesomes steer clear of toys to start with, unless it’s something you are very familiar with, because let’s face it, two cocks and  a selection of orifices really should be enough to keep everyone happy.

End result

At the end of the day, or night, all three of you should be sated and have achieved climax, not necessarily at the same time, because if we are being honest synchronizing orgasm can be hard with two of you, add in an extra person and it gets pretty damn tricky, in fact if you do achieve synchronization you all deserve medals! Though, from your point of view, being adored and caressed by two ready, willing and able men means there’s no reason on earth why you can’t go for multiple!

That’s my thoughts for today, do drop me a comment, I would love to hear from you and I look forward to hanging out here with you all in the coming months.

Lily x


Emmy Ellis said...

Oooh! A new blog. Yummy!

I can't imagine being in a threesome, but I do enjoy writing about it and reading it. Fascinating subject, watching how each person copes with sharing.

I may well pass these tips onto one of my friends.She's contemplating taking the leap and trying full-on menage for real.


Lily Harlem said...

Hi Emmy, thanks for stopping by.

Oh, yes, do share the tips and be sure to let us know how your friend gets on :-)

Lily x

Harlie Reader said...

Great tips and my hubby has told me that he would never share me with anyone. I wouldn't share either. I love reading menage and think about it often. I was asked to participate when I was in my early 20's and I backed away. I was way too inexperienced and I had no idea what it is was. I often think back to that time in my life when reading menage and wonder...

Again, I love this blog. Keep it up ladies.

Kat said...

I like this new blog. As with any sexual relationship, there is of course the potential for abuse. So, just like any relationship you should be prepared to deal with the consequences.

Having said that I do enjoy writing about menages. My first menage will be coming out in 2 months so I am really glad to see this new blog. Plus, Lily is a dear friend.:-)

Lily Harlem said...

Hi Harlie, Hi Kat

I hope you keep visiting our new blog and big congrats Kat on your début ménage novel - YAY!

Lily x

Anonymous said...

My first one was the free short book of the Colter family and I had to reread it because I was absolutely sure that I had completely misunderstood it and then I promptly went and purchased the book.

Ebony Dreams said...

I loved this!!!!

Stacey said...

Amazing article, Lily!

Stacey said...
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