I get asked the question all the time – Sophie, you write ménage, so you’re in the lifestyle, right? This question is usually accompanied with a wink and sometimes, if it’s a man asking the question, a little leer. But I’m going to be honest and forthright about this question from now.
I, Sophie Oak, am in a ménage relationship with two men – my husband, Rich, and my gay husband, Kris.
My GH is also a writer – he writes erotic romance as Kris Cook. I met him through a mutual friend and we bonded over our love of vodka, ethnic food and our never ending knowledge of Broadway. He was also impressed that I knew what the Algonquin Round Table was. We’ve been gay and hag ever since and will be until death parts us. As for the DH, we have that whole 20 years of passion and 3 kids and mad love thing to hold us together.
We like to call it our M/F………..M – because the GH totally isn’t interested in my girl parts, and Kris is married to a hottie, himself. But we’re a solid threesome, the DH, the GH, and me.
How does this ménage work, you ask? Well, let me tell you, for awhile it worked perfectly. I did lunch with the GH and date nights with the DH. And when the DH sat me down and had a serious talk about how important it was for me to discuss large purchases with my husband – well, here’s how that went.
Sophie – Hey, babe, I’m at Dillard’s. I just found the cutest Michael Kors skirt and two shirts, and Calvin Klein just released a summer dress line. Can I buy it?
Kris (like I would call the DH, be more specific next time, Rich) – OMG! You have to have those. And some shoes. It’s necessary.
And that’s how my ménage should work. The GH approves of my new Prada shoes and then the DH makes me wear them – if you know what I mean. So how has it all gone wrong?
I knew the tide was turning when I walked in and the GH and DH were talking. Really talking. About me and the business and just about everything. By the time the night had swung toward midnight, I was a bottle of Pinot down and my husbands had collided in a rush of hands-off, intellectual manlove. I was relegated to listening in on how my career should go and how to handle me. They gave each other tips. My DH learned that when I get hormonally wrathful, the GH just opens another bottle of wine and agrees with everything I say. The GH is wise.
So that’s my ménage. It’s perfect in its imperfect way. I went off on a huge monologue of self-doubt and anxiety the other night. The DH hugged me, made me a martini, and called in the GH – like the amazing tag team they are. I’m totally happy with my two wonderful men.
Wait – was the guy who asked the question talking about sex? Like a sex ménage?
Oh, that’s a whole different post…