Thursday, July 14, 2011

My Menage

I get asked the question all the time – Sophie, you write ménage, so you’re in the lifestyle, right? This question is usually accompanied with a wink and sometimes, if it’s a man asking the question, a little leer. But I’m going to be honest and forthright about this question from now.

I, Sophie Oak, am in a ménage relationship with two men – my husband, Rich, and my gay husband, Kris. 

My GH is also a writer – he writes erotic romance as Kris Cook. I met him through a mutual friend and we bonded over our love of vodka, ethnic food and our never ending knowledge of Broadway. He was also impressed that I knew what the Algonquin Round Table was. We’ve been gay and hag ever since and will be until death parts us. As for the DH, we have that whole 20 years of passion and 3 kids and mad love thing to hold us together.

We like to call it our M/F………..M – because the GH totally isn’t interested in my girl parts, and Kris is married to a hottie, himself. But we’re a solid threesome, the DH, the GH, and me.
How does this ménage work, you ask? Well, let me tell you, for awhile it worked perfectly. I did lunch with the GH and date nights with the DH. And when the DH sat me down and had a serious talk about how important it was for me to discuss large purchases with my husband – well, here’s how that went.

Sophie – Hey, babe, I’m at Dillard’s. I just found the cutest Michael Kors skirt and two shirts, and Calvin Klein just released a summer dress line. Can I buy it?
Kris (like I would call the DH, be more specific next time, Rich) – OMG! You have to have those. And some shoes. It’s necessary.

And that’s how my ménage should work. The GH approves of my new Prada shoes and then the DH makes me wear them – if you know what I mean. So how has it all gone wrong?

I knew the tide was turning when I walked in and the GH and DH were talking. Really talking. About me and the business and just about everything. By the time the night had swung toward midnight, I was a bottle of Pinot down and my husbands had collided in a rush of hands-off, intellectual manlove. I was relegated to listening in on how my career should go and how to handle me. They gave each other tips. My DH learned that when I get hormonally wrathful, the GH just opens another bottle of wine and agrees with everything I say. The GH is wise.

So that’s my ménage. It’s perfect in its imperfect way. I went off on a huge monologue of self-doubt and anxiety the other night. The DH hugged me, made me a martini, and called in the GH – like the amazing tag team they are. I’m totally happy with my two wonderful men.

Wait – was the guy who asked the question talking about sex? Like a sex ménage?

Oh, that’s a whole different post…


 
Sophie Oak writes erotic romance for Siren Publishing. Her latest book, Lost in Bliss, will be available August 12th at Bookstrand.com. You can read the first chapter of all her books for free at www.sophieoak.com.

22 comments:

Dragon Lady said...

*snorts* This was awesome! Your so lucky to have a GH!!! I fear, if I did, that he'd side with DH all the time, just to piss me off. LOL!!

Stacy

Stacey said...

I had no idea, Sophie. You lucky woman!

Sophie said...

I am a lucky woman, Stacey. And the GH understands the business, too.

Sophie said...

Dragon Lady - my GH and my DH have, indeed, ganged up on me from time to time.

Chele Blades said...

I wish i had my own GH...its now going to become an accessory for women...we all need one!!! does he have any friends say around the Oklahoma area?!? loving the new cover

Sophie said...

Thanks, Chele! I really do think every girl needs a gay hubby. There should be a match site for that.

Kris_Cook said...

You know, sweetie, you're awesome. Can't wait for lunch this Friday.

Sophie said...

I love you, my GH! Though the DH thinks we would get way more writing done if we didn't spend all day on the phone.

Fallen Angel said...

lol, this was so cute! You're a very lucky lady, Sophie! :-)

MichelleKCanada said...

Awesome post! You lucky lucky woman! Congrats on the book(s)

Nice blog too, I am following now so I can get the updated posts.
MichelleKCanada
http://anotherlookbookreviews.blogspot.com/

SheriV said...

I'm laughing way too hard Sophie. That was a lovely insight into your and Kris's relationship. Too bad that GH and DH have gotten together and now use their combined powers against you. And DH really should have been specific about who you call for purchase approval. I'm going to go away now before the dog has me committed for laughing like a loon.

Sheri

Luna Wildwood said...

Oh Sophie! That was hilarious!

Savanna Kougar said...

Sophie, you are one lucky woman. Now, that's a menage I could definitely live with. ~smiles~

Sophie said...

I am totally lucky. Thanks for the comments everyone. I wanted to celebrate my two great guys!

Cherise Sinclair said...

Well now, I'm giggling--and still totally envious. I want a Kris too, and I'll bet the two of you are really scary together. Your DH must be a strong guy. ;-) Great post!

Dragon Lady said...

I have to admit, when I first saw the title and your teaser, I was thinking HOLY CRAP! Is she REALLY going to dish on that??? I read and about fell off the couch. ;)

Stacy

heather said...

I'm so jealous. But really, I think thats great. I love to hear that really happens and not just written down in books :) But I'm still so jealous!

Sophie said...

Cherise - the DH is a strong guy. However, he's been sitting around moaning that everyone wants a Kris - and not a him. I've been telling him I might share my Kris - but never my Rich!

Sophie said...

I have to admit, I realized that my title was a bit salacious. But I've spent a good portion of my life with a gay BFF. I'm an old school drama girl.

MrBlissful said...

Hey Kris,

Thanks for lunch with our lady. She had a great time. I took care of her for dinner. I'll take her to see Harry Potter on Sunday, but you can have her all day tomorrow. I need to so some stuff around the house.

See, folks. Menage can work.

heather said...

Ok, come on now, yall are really making me depressed now. (using my whinny voice) I want a menage, too!

Stormy said...

Do you think match.com has a section for finding a compatible GH? You truly have the best of both worlds, Sophie!