Tuesday, August 9, 2011

But is it Art?

I just got in from Denver. That wouldn’t be a problem, except that I was supposed to get home on Sunday. This is reprise of one of my old blogs on the old Sophie Oak site. I’m still betting it’s new to most of you. Sorry for the rehash, but I’m tired out of my mind after RomCon and seeing way too much of the Denver International Airport. Let me soften the blow by giving away a free ARC of Lost in Bliss to one lucky commenter. As always, if you already bought it, I’ll give you something else.

Is it really art if it involves a vibrator?

It’s a question my mother asks me every time I discuss a new book I am writing.  Do you really have to put all that freaky stuff in there, Sophie?  Can’t you just have two people fall in love?
I try.  I really do.  When I started my urban fantasy series (the one I haven’t sold yet), I fully intended to have the hero and heroine get together and be as happily monogamous as a vampire and a thief could be.  It wasn’t my fault that the character I came up with as a distraction turned out to be so yummy I couldn’t get rid of him.  Thus my own little template came to life.  Why have one hero when you could have two? 
A sex scene is so much more involved when three people are present.  Sometimes I map out where everyone’s parts go.  It’s a skill getting three people in bed together and making everyone happy.  This is why I often involve another thing that worries my mother; toys.

Put that rope down!
Face it, bondage is funny and, with the right characters, extremely hot.  Use the right knots and the perfect setting on that butterfly and presto, your sex scene comes to life.  This variety of play is extremely important when writing erotic romance.  The reader expects there to be an awful lot of sex in a book that has a bunch of naked people on the cover.  I read on a web site that a good mix for erotic romance is the 70/30 rule.  At least seventy percent of your book should concern the actual story.  That leaves thirty percent for pure sex.  My books tend to run right at 90,000 words.  This means 27,000 words will be sex.  If I don’t throw in the occasional spanking, what would I write about?  Besides, we women understand the fine line between pain and pleasure.  Ask anyone who’s had a paraffin pedicure.  You tear up when they shove your feet in the hot wax.  You think about slapping the technician.  And then that sweet heat seeps into your skin, relaxing every digit and humming along your pores.  You try to wiggle your toes, but you’re caught in that soft, hot wax.  It envelopes you and suddenly, you don’t ever want to leave.
Or maybe I’m just a freak who likes a little bite.
And mom – so sorry about the upcoming scene with the flogger.  Really it’s not as bad as it sounds.



Sophie Oak writes erotic ménage for Siren Publishing.

49 comments:

Sophie said...

The contest will be open until midnight tonight. I'll pick a winner at random from the comments and announce it here.

MichelleKCanada said...

Oh Sophie Oak I giggle at your posts. How I love that you have a mom that you have conversations about vibs, robes and floggers. *giggles*
You should make that a post one day. Give us a snippet of one of the conversations.

I've read your Siren series (LOVE) and Away from Me but I haven't tried this Colorado series yet.

All the best and I'm glad you home safe and sound.

Cheers,
MichelleKCanada @AnotherLookBook
http://anotherlookbookreviews.blogspot.com/

Mrs. Missive said...

My mother tried to have a conversation about a dildo with me once. That's when I realized that before asking your parents to help you move, you pack the sex toys away beforehand.

Love reading your posts, and following you on twitter.

Can't wait for this next one. I'm hoping for some great reading material on the way to and from Author's After Dark.

Sophie said...

Thanks, Michelle! I have often thought about pod casting some of my crazier conversations.

Sophie said...

Hey, Missive! I wish I was going to AAD. And yes, definitely don't have the mom pack away the sex toys.

afnanhackerz said...

Oooh..some toys and a little BDSM is always good in erotic romances especially the way you write it! I really can't wait to read the book!

Sophie said...

Thanks. I love a little BDSM. My mom doesn't quite get it. She still blushes and shakes her head when she reads the word anal plug. And since she reads me - she has to read it a lot!

Indigo said...

Sophie I am loving your blog! I look forward to it. I can't wait to head on over to Bliss Friday, I miss that place! lol BTW my hubby has specific instructions: If I die, clear out the "draw" before any family comes to help out. Thant freaky stuff is MY business ;-)

AquarianDancer said...

Haha. I think I had been up about 30 hours straight before I got home from RomCon! Talk about sleep walking. Then my mom and her friend wanted to take me shopping. Finally back and well rested. I hope your day is full of rest and relaxation.

ashleynhuey said...

Well, Sophie, I highly doubt my mom would even want to read anything that I write when it comes to erotic romances. She attempts to act "cool" when we talk about sex...as long as we avoid anything that does not include the missionary position. It is a source of amusement for me that she does this since my teenage years are long past me. I would have thought she would realize that I am far more liberated as I age. Of course, my reading choices lend a little aid.

I love her to pieces, but sometimes it is a riot when she has a tangent on how oral sex is nasty and that she could never understand WHO would want to do THAT. *giggles*

Recently, we talked about something outside of the proverbial box. I, literally, had to bite my tongue to avoid laughter. She said that "sometimes" anal sex just "happens." It is merely an "accident" and it "hurts." (Yes, I must put the parantheses. It always adds a little something to my tangents.) Of course, I had to control myself like a good daughter. I really did not want to have a sex talk with my mom where I had to actually explain things to her, but I have little control over my tongue and can never seem to hold it when pushed. So, I proceeded to explain to her that a little bit of "hurt" is not always a bad thing and that some people actually like to have anal sex without it being an accident. Unfortunately, the discussion went downhill farely quickly.

I havee to admit that this particular conversation was very enlightening to me. I found that I should never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, discuss sex with my mother. We are so not on the same planet in terms of sex. Unless, I am willing to defend a certain way of life tactfully (which I am not terribly good at because she makes me so hotheaded sometimes), it is better just to avoid such topics. My avoidance keeps her from being grossed out and/or offended...and keeps me from arguing with a brick wall. This, in turn, makes for a very happy Ashley. :)

daydrmzzz said...

I'm so with you Sophie, "I love a little BDSM"!! But I keep that side hidden from my mom a-lol

Sophie said...

Thanks, Indigo. My BFF, Chloe, has strict instructions to clean out all of that stuff should I perish. I actually boxed it all up and hid it in the closet when the hubby and I went to Hawaii.

Sophie said...

Aquarian Dancer - I had such a good time at Rom Con. It made me wish I was going to AAD. I love talking to readers. You rest up today, too!

Sophie said...

Ashley - It's so funny you said that. I can't help but remember the advice my grandmother gave me on my wedding day. She told me to set things straight with my husband on sex right away. (I didn't bother to mention we'd been doing that for awhile.) She told me to tell him I wouldn't be doing any of that French stuff. By that she meant the girl on top position. Yep. None of that French stuff...

Sophie said...

Day - I can't keep it hidden. My mom really is one of my beta readers. She tells everyone she glosses over that stuff though.

nix said...

I love this series!! Bliss is such a fun place to be

Me and my mum scoot around this subject. We know what I read/blog about, we just fail to discuss it :D

Katrina said...

You are one of my abso fav authors. I couldnt imagine talking to my mom about sex toys or bdsm because she is such a prude! LOL talk about giving that woman a heart attack!

Bliss is one of my favorite series! I cant wait for the next one to be released!

Keep on writing the unexpected! Its what makes you unique!

Stormy said...

Oh my gosh, I think my mom would rather walk over hot coals on her knees rather than talk about sex. I've decided women who don't enjoy it don't like to talk about it and also think all other women can't possibly enjoy it either. WRONG!! I certainly wouldn't classify myself as a nympho but compaired to my mom's attitude towards "the sex" I might be, LOL. Did I mention I'm a preacher's daughter? I got enough out of church sermons for reading Twilight and Harry Potter. I don't bring up the "good stuff" :D

Eve Langlais said...

LOL, my own family doesn't get my writing, but my mother in law, of all people loves it. Especially when I use werewolves in the menage ;p
And freaks are good, especially when there's a flogger involved.

ashleynhuey said...

Eve, I have to hide ALL of my writing and my books. My e-reader and books are well hidden. My writings are very high security...under lock-and-key.

NONE of my family or my husband's family would understand. They would be horrified and have me admitted to some institution for life. The things that I adore reading and the things that I love to write would freak them out. This I know because of some of the comments that have been made about things they read being "trashy." This so-called "trashy" stuff is child's play. Trust me. We are talking maybe pg-13 stuff...and that is being generous.

I shudder to imagine what they would think about my collection of books and writings alone. I do not even want to consider what would happen if they found my stash of the really good stuff. *giggles*

I am at a complete loss as to what to do if I ever get published...Well, I will probably pack up and move far, far away. :)

ashleynhuey said...

Sophie - I keep ALL of my personal things hidden. I have only had one lapse, and this was when a family member was snooping where she did not belong. Luckily, she found only a part of it before removing herself from where she did not belong. Needless to say, it has never happened again. And it has NEVER been discussed between the two of us.

To prevent a re-occurence, I have been super careful. We moved like a year ago to a new house. When we moved,I actually packed all of it by hand when no one was around in like three separate boxes. I proceeded to cover it with other things like clothes and stuff to throw people off. Then, I carried the boxes to the car and drove it to the new house. No one ever saw anything or touched anything. The boxes were completely under the radar. It was kinda fun...like was on a top-secret, undercover mission except that I stink at being devious and elusive. Oh, well. At least, no one caught on. :)

Sophie said...

Thanks, Nix. I love writing Bliss!

Sophie said...

Thank you so much, Katrina. My uniqueness kept me out of NY but I love publishing with a small press. It gives me so much freedom.

Sophie said...

Stormy, my husband's family has a Presbyterian minster in it. He's the hubby's brother in law and he tells everyone what I write. I'm glad the BIL is okay with it because the MIL won't even mention she knows me.

Chele Blades said...

my two girls would rather die then talk sex toys with me....my college 19 gal thinks i am reading porn and when her boyfriend stops by he just teases her about her mother reading the porn to him...poor fair complection gal...just glad my 10 yr old son has not found my collection hidden away...i think rather then go thru my belongs & lots of book my gals said they will just throw it all out...remember they are only late teens early 20's they will change their minds like i did (possibly in their dirty thirties) i always warn them!! fun times

SheriV said...

I feel like an odd duck. I talk about sex with my mom. And I even talk about Sophie's books with her. lol She isn't a reader but I tell her about the series.
Sophie, I want to try a paraffin wax treatment but I'm horribly afraid I would slap the technician. lol Same reason I'm worried about bikini waxing. As it is I don't think to charitable of the technician when she does my brows. lol
I'm sorry you were stranded in Denver International Airport for so long. I actually kind of like that airport. But I imagine if I spent as much time as you did, I could get sick of it. I hope you get to hang out by the pool and relax.

Sophie said...

Ashley - a lot of my family was upset by what I was writing. My mom used to ask when I was going to write mainstream again. She stopped asking when she saw my royalty statements. Success forgives a lot of sins.

Sophie said...

Eve - there's a reason your MIL likes your work - it's awesome! And I love a good a werewolf, too.

Sophie said...

I bet they will, Chele. I would never have talked to my mom when I was younger. I only opened up in my thirties. There's a reason they call them dirty!

Sophie said...

Sheri - I think it's great that you can talk to your mom. It wasn't so bad. Shayla and I sat up in the Admiral's Club and got a ton of work done. All in all, I'm just happy to be home.

ashleynhuey said...

Good to know, Sophie. I recently had a deep conversation with my hubby about my aspirations. I have been dabbling with writing romance for years, constantly searching for my niche. However, I felt like I just could not get it right. I was lost until a few months ago when I stumbled onto Siren...and I was hooked. I had previously read a few erotic romances, but not too many because, Heaven forbid, that a retailer close to where I live might actually carry one. If you do find one at a book store, the cashier looks at you like you are a tiny, green martian out to suck out their soul and return to your home planet to sell it to the highest bidder!

I have found that I truly LOVE reading erotic romances, and I feel more comfortable and at home than I ever thought I would be. According to my husband, it is very "suited" for my personality. Hahaha!

I asked him what he would do if I really started focusing on that genre. He said he did not mind at all. He just wants me to be happy. His concern is of how it will affect me in regards to family and friends. I am still deliberating on that.

I have spent a long time making everyone else happy. Unfortunately for most of my family and friends, my inner self likes to be a little dirty. She is tired of being caged...and ready to roar! *giggles*

Sorry my posts are so long...passion tends to be wordy...as you well know. :)

Jodi said...

Love reading your posts. I can only imagine the look on my mom's face if I mentioned any of this stuff to her. There are times I have to explain a joke to my mom three times and she still laughs! Just an old fashion farm girl.

Hope I win a copy of your book -- I am a huge fan!

Indigo said...

My mom thinks she's progressive but she just couldn't handle my "private" collection. lol

Sophie said...

Ashley - I wish you the best of luck in your writing! I wrote mainstreams for years and didn't have any success until I heated things up. Hope to see you at Siren soon. It's a great place to be.

Sophie said...

Thanks, Jodi. And I love farm girls. I come from a long line of them.

Sophie said...

Indigo, sometimes they don't understand how the world has moved forward. My mom still thinks my We Vibe is some form of Ipod.

Susan said...

O.M.G. I love a good parafin dip! *sigh*

This is a great series. Can't wait to read this one!!

susanmik AT gmail DOT com

Bensgirl said...

Umm I love your books. Thanks for what you write. There are days that I need the laughter I find with them.

AshleyD said...

Sophie 27,000 sex words are not enough:) I love all the romance and naughty spankings. You give us reasers plenty of great ideas ( wink, wink). My husband thanks you.

Sophie said...

Susan - me, too. I crave that weird feeling when your feet hit that ridiculously hot paraffin. I also admit - I get a little thrill from waxing.

Sophie said...

Bensgirl - thanks so much. I love Bliss. I have a real pride in this series.

bridgetw3 said...

I kinda have the same problem in a different way. I read a lot of erotica, and I've started dabbling in writing. I am not allowed to talk sex, let alone toys, with my grown daughter's. They've even had kids, so they have had sex at least once.

I mean, come on!

Luna Wildwood said...

Of course it's art if vibrators are involved LOL It's more fun too! :) Maybe we can nudge the ratio to 65/35 for a few extra spanks as well ;-)

Sophie said...

Ashley - tell your husband he's welcome. There's nothing I like to hear more than that! Love well!

Laura said...

OHHH a Sophie ARC i can not wait to go back to revisit Bliss

ashleynhuey said...

bridgetw3: As my mom often tells me, "your parents have never had sex and neither have your children...and they never will." *giggles* Apparently, everyone will die a virgin. Oh, the horror! Our race is doomed. We shall dwindle away into nothing. It is the end of the world!!! *swoon* :)

Brandi said...

I'm soo freaking exicted about this book! I'd love an ARC.

And if you want vanilla sex, head the opposite direction. And run!

Sophie said...

I just sent the names through Randomizer and Stormy is the lucky winner. Just for grins - I'll take the second name, too. Congrats to Mrs. Missive. Send me the e-mail addys so I can get the ARCs to you. Just so you know, I'm running behind due to my RomCon fiasco so it will be Thursday before I have the ARCs. Congrats and thanks to everyone who commented!

Stormy said...

This is so AWESOME! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!! I just sent my email addy to Chloe! Can't wait to get Lost in Bliss :D

Stormy