Monday, August 8, 2011

My Work Husband

I used to cheat on my boyfriend five days a week. For hours. At least eight hours a day, as a matter of fact, plus overtime. Monday through Friday, I’d go to work and spend all day as someone’s “work wife.” You know the concept? A “work spouse” is someone you totally click with on the job—the person you can joke around with, complain about your boss to, exchange eye rolls with during meetings. A “work husband” makes your job bearable.

I don’t know how I would have gotten through the day without K (he shall remain nameless). We had each other’s backs, we saved each other’s sanity, kept each other’s secrets. I’d go home and describe my boss’s latest temper tantrum to my boyfriend, but it wasn’t the same. He didn’t get it the way K did.

Was there sexual tension? Sure. The few times my boyfriend and work-husband met, I caught some suspicious looks. The undercurrent of sex was always there. But did we do anything about it? No. Why ruin a perfectly good work marriage with sex? That wasn’t the point for me. The point was that K gave me something my boyfriend didn’t. We connected in a different way. We needed each other.

The idea that one person should take care of all our needs for the rest of our lives seems nuts. I saw a gay friend recently who told me about his “triad.” His triad consists of the guy he fucks, who’s totally on the downlow; his longtime friend who he vacations with, hangs out with, confides in, but never sleeps with; and his therapist. It takes those three people to fill his emotional needs.

It’s not, strictly speaking, a ménage. But it rang true for me. We all need many people to support us as we go through life. I wonder if ménages are so popular because they acknowledge that one person can’t give you everything you need. I love my husband, but I can’t vent to him the way I could to K. I love my husband, but he wouldn’t get our jokes about our girl-Hitler boss.

Ménage stories are honest about that. They bring that hidden truth to the surface. They take all those sexual undercurrents to the logical extreme of getting naked together.

What do you think? Am I overthinking this or am I onto something? Have you ever had a “work spouse”? Do you think One Isn’t Enough when it comes to satisfying all our emotional needs?

By the way, my Receptionist series takes a three-way work relationship to its absolutely naughtiest extreme. Here's the cover and blurb for the latest in the series, Restraining the Receptionist. Click here for more.

Every deal has a loophole.

…the Receptionist, Book 2

Dana Arthur’s new job with the firm of Cowell & Dirk is going well. Translation: the occasionally kinky ménage with her two bosses, Ethan and Simon, has been several months of politically incorrect bliss.

Except the relationship feels unbalanced. While Ethan is the undisputed master, the partners’ iron-clad agreement stipulates that Simon must be present as she performs her “duties”. And she senses there’s a subtle, powerful tug-of-war developing for more than just her body.

Simon had agreed to share the firm’s fiery, sensually daring receptionist…to a point. With Simon out of town, Ethan plans a feast of erotic temptations designed to have Dana begging him to break the deal. He didn’t realize his heart would be a casualty.

Once she surrenders to his wicked demands, Dana realizes there’s no going back. It’s time for a three-way renegotiation…this time, all or nothing.

Product Warnings
NSFW!! Do Not Try This at Your Job. Contains highly inappropriate workplace behavior including m/f/m, m/m, bondage, creative use of office space and a high-stakes trip to Atlantic City.


PG Forte said...

OMG, you just perfectly described the relationship I'm working on in my current WIP. And totally cleared up my confusion w/ regard to it. I <3 U.

Juniper Bell said...

LOL! If I've actually helped you with a WIP, this whole post was worth it!

Lily Harlem said...

Great post Juniper - I think you hit the nail on the head when it comes to the reason why we all enjoy reading and writing ménage - sometimes one just isn't enough, not only physically but emotionally too. Add in the fact that everyone has different needs and desires then it makes for a very fulfilling relationship.

Lily x

PS - loving the Mulder and Scully pic :-)

Harlie Reader said...

Great post Juniper and actually I was the "work" wife for someone else. In fact, when I got married to my hubby, my "work" hubby was an usher at our wedding and we are still best friends to this day. We kept each other sane and still do even though we don't work for the same company anymore and we live 4 hours from each other.

I was there when his wife had their children and he was there when I had mine. For us, its more of a quad now but without the added benefits. LOL!

Again, great post!

Savanna Kougar said...

Juniper, you pen the most daring emotional scenarios. I applaud you!

I've experienced some of what you're talking about as far as a close connection at the workplace, not to your depth, however.

As far as emotional needs, in this culture, yep, and yep again. In the otherworld cultures I pen about, while emotional bonding with others is necessary, natural and good, it's not to the degree as is needed in our current world.

Yeah, I'm odd... ~smiles~