Morning my little ménage fiends. I just got back from the Caribbean and remembered I had to blog this morning. My brain is far too full of sand to do anything new, so I’m recycling something from the old site. I doubt you’ve read it. If you have, so sorry. You can give me a birthday spanking.
My husband has decided to make a man-stand. He’s done with some of the stuff I put in my books. This argument came up as I was just beginning to write the sequel to my fall release Three to Ride. This one is called Two to Love and it’s a ménage. He doesn’t have a problem with that. He does have a problem with one of the men. His name is Zane and he has…wait for it…a really big penis.
Hubby: Sophie, that’s ridiculous. No one has a cock that big. Do you realize the dimensions you’ve described? One of those guy’s cocks hits his navel and he’s the small one.
Sophie: It seems reasonable to me.
This is the point at which he gets out the visual aids. A back scratcher is used to show that a penis when fully erect and hitting a man’s navel, it’s over a foot long. I say if it’s good enough for hot dogs across America then it’s good enough for my heroine, Callie. Hubby points out some odd mathematical formula because the penis apparently won’t actually stand straight up so you have to factor in the angle and the amount of blood and then it really comes out to a little over twelve inches. Completely unreasonable in his mind. When I refuse to give up on my poor hero’s large appendage, I am told that he’ll be unable to maintain an erection because he will pass out from lack of blood in his brain.
I’m doing women everywhere a disservice. I am giving you a completely unrealistic view of the male sex organ. In deference to my husband, I have revised the sex scene to be more realistic. Please, enjoy.
Callie stared at Zane, her mouth dropping open. He was…so average. That thing was a perfectly reasonable size. Callie’s heart sped up when she realized it would fit without any problems whatsoever. Hell, they might not even need lubricant.
Zane stroke his five and half inch cock that was actually smaller than his hand because he’s six foot five. It didn’t take him long.
“Don’t worry honey.” His voice was rough. His every syllable laden with that thick Texas accent. It spilled across her like molasses. “I’ll be gentle with this very reasonable monster. I know how to use it.”
Callie looked back at Nate who was stroking his penis, as well. He wanted to shove that perfectly average thing up her backside. It would probably fit just fine. No need to worry at all.
It was going to feel so…well, average, Callie realized. Callie hoped there were still batteries in her vibrator.
I promise to take into consideration all the male readers of my erotic romance novels from now on. I will listen to you. And then I will make my hero’s penis as large as it needs to be to get the job done in a fantasy way that blows readers’ minds. This isn’t realism, buddy. This is my fantasy and it involves two guys of way beyond average size who don’t mind sharing, love to spend hours pleasuring a female and, oh, if they’re supersecret multimillionaires, then that works, too. Get used to it. Zane’s penis stays. So does Nate’s for that matter. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.