Looking around at the stores there are costumes as far as the eye can see. Not surprising since today is Hallowe’en and tonight all the little ones will be all decked out. That's what this holiday is all about. Dressing up and living out a fantasy. Kids will role play their favourite characters and for a few hours they pretend that they really are that person.
But, as adults why do we stop doing that, and while we're talking about it, why limit it to one day a year? Part of the reason I love to write it that while I am ensconced in creating a story I can be those characters and live out the fantasy I’m creating. Much the same feeling I get when I’m reading as well.
I did some research and many experts feel that role playing in a relationship is a great way to keep things fresh and exciting.
For many it can be a way to open up lines of communication. Pretending you're someone else can make it easier to ask for something you are interested in trying. Mentioning that you like to be restrained might be hard for you but if you are a criminal and your partner is the arresting officer...you can see where this is going :)
"Role-playing or game-like fantasies are great tools; they assist in awakening creativity and imagination in the couple," says Evelyn Fisboin, a registered marriage and family therapist intern at the Mind Spectrum Institute in North Miami Beach, Fla. "Role-playing can also help divert from routine sex, and may heighten and enrich sexual relations."
Start out with something simple and then you can built up into more and more complex scenarios. It's perfectly healthy to want to explore sexual fantasies, and you should feel comfortable opening up to your partner about what interests you. Always be respectful and keep an open mind when your partner wants to open up about role-playing ideas or fantasies.
You may be surprised to hear what your partner wants to do, and it's okay to say that you don't want to do it. You also need to understand how difficult it can be to talk about sexual fantasies, even with a willing partner. There are endless lists of role play ideas on the internet that can help you get started. Everything from the classic Secretary/Boss to being an erotic dancer or the person who's sunbathing naked. All you have to do is decide what type of topics are hot and interesting to you and your partner. Have a thing for uniforms? This is the time to get your partner into one.
I’m not saying that you should dress up in your best Wonder Woman costume to go to work tomorrow but why not slip on those gold armbands this weekend for your partner? Or better yet, use your lasso of truth and force him to divulge some of the sexual fantasies he might not have told you otherwise. :)
One of my favourite fantasy places that I love to write about is a small town, outside of Algonquin Park, in Northern Ontario. Ecstasy Lake seems to attract more supernatural beings than mosquito's!
The first book in my 3xtasy Lake series is Caress of Fur
Mai isn’t impressed when she discovers her friend has set her up on a surprise blind date, but a bad date is the least of her worries. She is about to discover that humans aren’t the only predators walking the streets of Toronto. Now, Mai faces two choices—returning to her safe world alone or standing up to not one but two of the most dominant men she has ever met.
Twin werewolves, Vencel and Gaspar, escaped their war-torn homeland and discovered a new home in the wilds of Algonquin Park. They never expected to find their mate in a fragile, human woman. Convincing her of their true natures proves harder than they anticipated, especially now that an old enemy has found them and is threatening to destroy their new home and family.
I can't wait to share more about my second book in that series. Embraced By Fur will be released on November 11th!
Book 3 will be coming out in December but more on that in a few weeks :)