Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Girl Porn vs. Boy Porn

 
I don’t really think that what I write is porn.  Porn has a certain connotation that has nothing to do with romance and love and everything to do with scratching an itch.  If you’ve ever read one of my books, you should know that my heroines tend to require more from their men than a quick scratch.  I can write a ten thousand word sex scene. That contains more than a bunch of moving body parts. But if you really think about it, maybe a romance novel serves the same purpose.  

The romance novel fulfills our need for fantasy.  It’s a world where dreams come true.  All isn’t perfect in the romance novel.  Women don’t tend to want perfection. We want drama and suspense.  We want a mystery to solve or tragedy to overcome.  The female fantasy is rich and filled with emotion and growth.  The female knows that nothing is worthwhile that we have not fought for.  This is why our heroes tend to be difficult, at least in the beginning.  We like the reluctant hero and the anti-hero.  We want men who we have to fight for, who change because they love us.  If he has a nine inch cock and a couple of billion dollars, that’s just gravy because we women are all about the love story.

My husband, the MBA, has been making a study of the industry since my first book went on sale.  He checks the publisher’s website religiously and is very up to date on my sales reports.  He has spreadsheets and projected sales numbers. But he goes a bit further. He also reads the blurbs of other authors.  “What does this mean?” he’ll ask, looking up over the laptop, a curious look on his face. “This book says it’s a ménage a trois, dragon-shifter, BDSM, cowboy contemporary romance with sex toys.”  We women tend to like to know what we’re getting into.  I explain that the novel is obviously set in the current era and contains a story about cowboys who can shape shift into dragons, like to share and prefer to tie up their partners and play with vibrators.  He stares down at the screen of his iPad.  “And what does M/M/F mean?”  I smile.  I like those.  “That means the boys play with each other, too.”

He shakes his head.  “It’s easier with guy porn.”  He then explains to me what guys want.  Guys want to believe that if they deliver a pizza, the two hot chicks (who would probably never actually eat pizza) will invite them in for a blow job.  Guys want to know that they have a shot at anal with those hot flight attendants.  In guy porn, an orgy is just a click away and everyone is welcome.  There’s no struggle, no internal change that brings the absolute strangers together.  There’s just a smoking blonde who says yes.  

I know this isn’t every guy’s fantasy.  (That’s my disclaimer for all of you women out there who think your husbands really love romantic comedies and think Sandra Bullock is the sexiest woman ever and turn their noses up at Jenna Jameson.  I’m sure you’re right.)  For the rest of us, we have to deal with the fact that our fantasies are worlds apart.  My husband goes back to staring at his iPad.  “Hey, you moved up on the list.”  He’s awfully obsessed, and I know it isn’t about the cash.  It’s my dream, and he’s invested.  He smiles and plays with some more numbers.  Our fantasies might be worlds apart, but reality is pretty sweet.



Sophie Oak writes erotic romance for Siren Publishing

9 comments:

SusieJ said...

Thank you for making me laugh, out loud...happily only the dog is home with me...no explanations required.
I think you've described the differences perfectly.
And your books are not porn at all - it's all about the romance and the story...the sex is an added bonus. :)
Hugs xx
p.s. thanks for the eye candy too - totally not gratuitous.

Edith DuBois said...

Beautiful post, Sophie!

And to take your argument even FURTHER, this can all be traced back to how our bodies work. Most women need emotional investment for a better, more satisfying EXPLOSION OF PLEASURE. Most dudes, however, whether for better or worse, don't need emotional investment to reach maximum levels of enjoyment when experiencing EXPLOSIONS OF PLEASURE.

Either way, this post is awesome. I've definitely spent a good amount of time pondering these things.

Tammy said...

You have such a way words that you explained it all to a capital T. Its all so very true what you wrote Sophie, thank you for the awesome post. Because I know there are rough days that a little fantasy goes a long way.
Thank you for making my world alot more brighter.
Your number one fan, Tammy

Sophie said...

Susie J - You're so welcome. I love a little eye candy, too.

Sophie said...

Edith, you're exactly right. Our minds have to be engaged for our bodies to join in the party.

Sophie said...

Tammy, thank you so much. That made my day!

Blanche said...

Excellent post! You said exactly what I try (and fail miserably) to tell my hubby when he starts on me about "my romance books" and I never know how to explain it to him to show him that it is different, very different! :)

MiaAshlinn said...

Great post! So funny yet so true. I know that this isn't exactly the point of the blog, but I wanted to say it is wonderful to hear that you have a hubby who takes an interest in your work. A supportive spouse can make all the difference in the world.

FYI, my hubby is one of the romantic comedy kind of guys by day and an adult movie by night. :)

-Mia

KateMC said...

You don't write porn Sophie, porn by it's very definition is obscene, with little or no artistic merit. I could easily write a paper on the artistic merit of Bound and there is nothing obscene about any of your books. I do think the differences between girl erotica and boy erotica are fascinating though. If you talk to any heterosexual male, they all say the same as your husband. Talk to any gay male and they have a very different opinion on what a significant percentage of 'heterosexual' men actually like, lol. It's fascinating too that many gay men think that heterosexual women write the best m/m erotica. Almost makes me wish I was back in Uni so I could do some research...
I'm so looking forward to Beast but I'm still manic with the BPD so not sitting still long enough, you're going to have to bring out audio versions so I can listen on the move :-) Kate