Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Do Erotic Romance Authors Write From Experience? POLL

I posted this on my personal blog earlier in the year, but re-posting for those who missed it.

The Million Dollar Question from Erotic Romance Readers:


In order to investigate this question properly, I conducted a non-scientific poll of 100 popular erotic romance authors and 100 heroines from various erotic romance novels.  The results of the poll will help us answer this important question once and for all.


What do you usually call your mate's penis?

100 Heroines

50% -- Hard Cock

25% -- Mighty Dick

25% -- Steely Rod

100 Erotic Romance Authors

100% -- Stupid Wiener


What is the most common sexual position for you and your mate?

100 Heroines

40% -- Up against a barn, hard and fast

30% -- Straddling his lap on the tractor

20% -- Bent over his conference table at work

10% -- From behind while riding a horse during a round-up

100 Erotic Romance Authors

50% -- Spooning in our bed

50% -- Spooning in our bed, at least one of us is asleep


What would be your response if your mate asked you to have sex on the hood of the car in the parking lot?

100 Heroines

50% I thought you'd never ask

40% I'd drop my panties and lean over the hood

10% I'd hop on the hood and beg him to get started

100 Erotic Romance Authors

60%  Are you drunk? Get your head checked, idiot

40%  Get the groceries in the trunk, return the cart, and get in the car you motherf#$er!


What would your response be if your mate asked to bring two other men to your bedroom?

100 Heroines

60% -- Yes!  That's always been my fantasy

40% -- Bring the lube

100 Erotic Romance Authors

60% -- Good idea!  After you guys finish painting, get to work on the laminate

40% -- What the f$ck!  Do I look like one of my heroines???

I think the results are conclusive.  Erotic Romance Authors write FICTION!

Fine Print: The poll was for entertainment purposes only ;)


Adonis Devereux said...

Lol!! Great one! ...... but seriously, though... our erotic fiction is fiction in plot only! The sex? That's first-hand experience.

Tammy said...

so funny!

MiaAshlinn said...

LMAO. That is priceless! :)

SusieJ said...

ROFL - brilliant!

Heather Rainier said...

LMAO! Stacey that was a riot!

June M. said...

I loved this! The people who think you write from your experiences, do they think you know real vampires, shifters, and such too? LOL
These stories are great because they are fiction/fantasy. If it was real life based, there would be cooking, cleaning, children, and a lot of I'm too tired tonight, or not tonight, I'm bloated. LOL

Anonymous said...

LMAO...you will not believe the number of people who ask me if I write from experience! Actually, you probably would.

Dahlia said...

I laughed out loud at the "after you guys finish painting..."

Great post.

mnjcarter said...

That was the funniest thing I've heard or read this week!

Debra Glass said...

Great post!! LOL And so true. How come no one ever asks mystery writers if they like to murder people?