As a writer, as an English major, and as a general lover of words, I have come to be very familiar with the dictionary.
And because of being published at Siren, I’ve become particularly close with the Merriam-Webster online dictionary (Siren’s preferred dictionary), and I don’t know if M-dubb would be offended at my casual divulgence of its secrets, but I must share my delight with you all!
Now, I wouldn’t want to insinuate anything untoward, but I’d like to think that me and words are just a little bit more than friends. Yes, “friends” doesn’t quite cover it. I’ve explored the nether regions of the dictionary, I’ve discovered all its tiny, secret places, and I delight in all the treasures it keeps hidden from the general public. M-DUBB DOESN’T TELL JUST ANYONE THAT THE SECOND DEFINITION OF A “FREAK-OUT” IS A GATHERING OF HIPPIES!
Okay, well…maybe it does, but I still get a good laugh out of it.
First of all, Merriam has a little speaker next to every entry. So when I need to look up words like “cocksucker” (Is that one word or two? Hyphenated or closed?) or “ass-backward” (again, I never would have guessed it was hyphenated) or “cunt” (just for fun sometimes), I like to click on that little speaker.
It’s especially fun when someone is walking by. Maybe your husband grabs the last Coke* out of the fridge? Or uses the last of the toilet paper? Or puts his cold feet on you when he crawls into bed. Click on “cocksucker,” let M-dubb tell him what you think, and then when he’s all, “What was that?!” you can be all, “Honey, it was M-dubb, I swear. This dictionary is so unruly!” Also, please note that the smart-phone version of Merriam-Webster also has the pronunciation guide for every entry.
Another thing I like about M-dubb is that on almost all of its expletives, it will say it is usually obscene, or sometimes vulgar. Like, I cannot think of a single instance when “motherfucker” has been used in a way that’s not obscene or vulgar. But that’s what I like about M-dubb…always optimistic.
So I hope that next time you need to look up a word but don’t feel like doing it, just think, there could be a magical secret waiting for you!
* Another interesting tidbit, Coke is always capitalized because, technically, it’s a trademark…even though people use it to mean any type of soda. Thanks for letting us know, M-dubb!