As you read this post, you may wonder if it’s a paid advertisement. I assure you it’s not, although if the producers of “Magic Mike” want to compensate me, I won’t say no – as long as I get to determine the form of payment.
So … last night I was nearly asleep when an ad for this amazing movie popped up on TV. In no time I was wide awake, screaming my head off, and wanting to stuff dollar bills in someone’s underwear. Matthew McConnaughey … Channing Tatum … JOE MANGIANELLO … playing MALE STRIPPERS! That amount of masculine hotness ought to be more carefully regulated. Putting them all in the same movie, strutting and stripping for the ladies? Holy G-string, I’m not sure I can take it.
Let’s start with the “veteran” of the crew. I’ve been lusting after Matthew McConnaughey for years. The man is pure sex-in-a-wink. I don’t even care that he’s married now, I’m just happy he exists on this planet and that he seems to prefer going shirtless. Word has it he designed his own ass-less pants for this movie. Gotta love that man.
Channing Tatum is a more of an up-and-coming sex god, but he’s got major potential. Get him out of Nicholas Sparks mode and he just might break through. Plus, he has real-life experience as a stripper under the name Chan Crawford. In fact, the movie is based on his stripping experiences. Obviously, I need to bump him higher in my Lust List.
Now for Joe. Joe, Joe, Joe … I don’t know where you’ve been all my life (curse my lack of HBO), but although I’ve never seen you in True Blood, you make my blood sizzle every time I see a photo of you. If I told you just how much I’m looking forward to seeing you play a character named Big Dick Richie, you might be running for a restraining order.
I’m not as familiar with the two other stars, Matt Bomer and Alex Pettyfer, but I’m looking forward to learning more about them --- or at least finding out how they look while they’re taking it all off.
And then, to top if all off, the director of this piece of genius filmmaking is Steven Soderbergh. I find him sexy in a cerebral way. If nothing else, you know the movie is going to be well-directed and well-produced. As long as they don’t skimp on the onstage scenes, I’m going to be one happy fan on June 29th, when “Magic Mike” comes out. Did I mention the date? June 29th. MAGIC MIKE. in theaters everywhere.
As for payment, a private performance for me and all my friends should do it. So how about you? Should I put you on the guest list? Are you looking forward to this movie as much as I am?