Monday, June 4, 2012

Why I write.

Today's is the release (or re-release) day for my book "The Reluctant Dom." This book was more than just a menage or BDSM book to me. When I wrote it, it was the way I dealt with the grief I bottled up over the loss of my grandmother six months prior.

I don't deal with grief well. I don't process it well. I'm one of those who walls it off, puts one foot in front of the other to get through whatever it is I'm dealing with, and then when the crisis is over, deal with it later.

Sometimes much later.

It was a very cathartic book to write, and I still can't read it without crying. The edit process for the re-release was brutal not because I made drastic changes to the story, which I didn't. All I did was clean up typos and neaten some of of the grammar here and there. But it was brutal because I had to relive the emotions I felt both at my grandmother's death and when I wrote the book.

Writing is, for me, a very personal thing. I always write first for me, the book I need to write. I know if I'm satisfied with the book, at least a few others will like it.

I have a few other emotional books I'm going to have to write, to deal with both the loss of my grandfather (three years to the day we lost my grandmother, both the day before my birthday) and the loss of a very dear friend of mine on New Year's Day.

I don't simply write because it's a job or it's what I like to do. Writing is, for me, a type of therapy. It's who I am. It's how I get the crap out of my brain so it doesn't explode. "Acquainted With the Night" helped me deal with the loss of two of our dogs within six weeks of each other. "Love Slave for Two" was the second book I wrote after my grandmother died, and I call it my "fun" book because it helped me escape. The first one I wrote is actually the fifth book of my Brimstone vampire series, and it's very dark and bloody. I wrote it literally in the span of a week after my grandmother died, and you can see the rage and despair in it. Whereas "The Reluctant Dom" was written during the first holiday season I went through without her, six months following her passing.

I don't just write to release grief. I've also written to include some auto-biographical things ("Domme by Default") and just plain fun stuff ("Safe Harbor," "Contractual Obligation").

If you'd like to take a look at "The Reluctant Dom" you can find it on my Siren author's page at:

Thanks. :)


Alexandra O'Hurley said...

It's great that you have something to channel your emotions into, giving yourself a way to "vent" vicariously through them. It's hard to lose a loved one. Twelve years after my grandmother's passing, she is still one of the first people I want to tell my good news to.

I hope the editing and crying helped. Sometimes a good cry is a necessity.

Basia Rose said...

Oh, I’ve been waiting impatiently for this to be rereleased. I no longer had a copy of it. Thanks for the reminder!
This book always comes up in discussions about emotional reads. Obviously the realism of your feelings seeped into the characters’.