Sunday, October 28, 2012

Voyeurism by Lily Harlem

We all enjoy a little voyeurism from time to time. There is something very sexy, a little kinky and definitely arousing about watching another couple having fun together.

In my new menage novel, The Glass Knot, the heroine, Laura, discovers the two guys, who are married, having an angry fuck after arguing about her.

Here is the scene...

I sat for ten long minutes, hugging my knees and staring at the shard of light that had kissed Josh so exquisitely only moments ago. I concentrated on the flecks of dust floating in the air where he’d stood—it gave me something to do and helped prevent tears of shame taking hold. Because once they did, I wasn’t sure they would stop.
Eventually, I stood and pulled my knickers and jeans up my damp legs. My mind was spinning. Part of me wanted to celebrate the fact that Josh did indeed have feelings for me—hot, steamy feelings. Another part, a much bigger part, couldn’t believe how cruel I’d been to Nick. I was a disgrace, a Judas in his house. He was a fool to have ever let me over the threshold.
I’d seen the pain and fear in Nick’s eyes, heard it in his voice yesterday. He’d known the risk of me being here was huge but said I was understanding and invited me to stay longer, because, I suspected, he trusted me. Despite this I’d let his worst nightmare happen. How horrible a person was I?
Even I hate me.
I’d broken that fragile sliver of trust, but what was going to be truly devastating for him was the fact Josh had broken his trust. My heart swelled painfully as I thought of the agony he would be feeling right now, if indeed, Josh was telling him what we’d just done. No, Nick didn’t deserve that, he was a good man, a kind man, who just wanted to live a quiet life with the person he loved.
I stood and brushed the hay from my back and plucked several stalks from my hair. I would have to go home, to London, now. Grab my bag and get the hell out of Little Mickleton.
The sun had me blinking rapidly as I let myself out of the barn. The midday heat caressed my shoulders but it didn’t warm me. I was cold—cold and ashamed.
The cat meowed from under the first apple tree I walked past, his green eyes hard and accusing, as if he knew I’d caused great suffering to his owners.
Gripping my camera, I walked down the path, hoping that I could get to the guest room, grab my case and hit the road without being seen. I just needed to think straight for a few more minutes, then, once in the safety of my car, I could wade through the tirade of emotions.
The Kendals didn’t need me in their home for another second, let alone another night.
I was thankful for my soft-soled shoes as I walked over the patio, my approach to the house silent. It seemed the blackbird was otherwise engaged on the fence, holding a snail shell in his beak, and he didn’t bother to squawk at my presence.
It was then I heard voices. Deep voices. Loud with outbursts of emotion.
I paused and glanced through the open kitchen window.
Josh and Nick were standing by the Aga. Josh was still bare chested though his skin and hair looked damp, as though he’d shot through the shower to remove physical evidence of me; it made me think of Lady Macbeth, obsessively washing her hands over and over after the murder of the king.
Nick wore a neat red polo shirt and an expression of both fury and agony. “Nick, please just listen,” Josh pleaded.
“Why the hell should I?”
“Because I love you, you know I do, with all my heart I just—”
“Clearly you don’t love me, not enough anyway, not if you just fucked her.” Nick flung his hand to the ceiling as though indicating that I was upstairs.
I pressed my fingers to my lips and held in a gasp. Josh had wasted no time in telling Nick.
“It’s not like that, and you know it isn’t,” Josh said, frustration and guilt vibrating through his words.
“So tell me then. What the hell is it like?”
Josh slotted both hands into his hair, his elbows out to the side, exposing his pale underarms with their haze of dark golden curls. “I, I don’t know. I’m just drawn to her. There’s something about her.”
Nick huffed. “There are lots of pretty women out there that have neat, soft curves and smell of flowers, Josh. What do you want to do, screw all of them to get it out of your system?”
“No, that’s a crazy thing to say.” Josh reached for Nick.
Nick stepped away, toward the island, his face dark and bitter with hurt.
“Please,” Josh said, still holding out his arms. “We talked about this. I told you I wouldn’t be able to have sex with just anyone. There needed to be an emotional connection and now we just have to work out what that means, to me, to us...”
“It means that you’ve got emotional connection with Laura, and you can’t control your cock when you’re around her. Fucking great.”
“And where the hell does that leave me? Am I old goods now? Ready for recycling?”
“Jesus, Nick, no. You’re my husband and I love you.” Josh grabbed Nick’s shoulders, bunched his red top in his fists and shoved him back against the island. “I love you so much. More than life itself.”
Nick, trapped against the granite surface, twisted within Josh’s grip. “Damn funny way of showing it by fucking someone else behind my back.” He pushed at Josh’s chest. “I can’t believe you’ve broken those vows we made. You’ve shattered the trust—trust is fragile, Josh, don’t you know that, as delicate as glass, and now it’s gone, broken beyond repair.” He shunted his whole body forward.
Josh jolted then braced against the shove. “Nick...” He stepped up closer, pinning Nick tight with his strong, bulk.
“Leave me alone,” Nick said, his voice rising even higher. “Just fuck off will you.”
“No, we have to sort this out.” They both pushed at one another. “We can fix this,” Josh shouted.
Nick let out a grunt of frustration when Josh wouldn’t give up. “There’s nothing to sort out and it can’t ever be fixed. Go to Laura, go screw her since it seems that’s all you want to do these days.”
Josh froze. His mouth hung slack. “What the fuck does that mean?”
Nick turned his head to the side, toward the window.
I ducked low, right to the ground.
“You know what I mean, just think about it.” Nick’s voice, dripping with both sarcasm and upset.
I parted the soft branches of a crimson fuscia bush and peered back into the kitchen. My heart was racing. They were arguing. Now was the time to go and grab my stuff and make a quick exit. But I couldn’t. I was nailed to the floor. Something about the way they were together, unguarded, unaware that they were being watched made me feel like I was seeing the real them, the side of Nick and Josh that fascinated me.
“You’re not making sense,” Josh said, a deep frown plowing across his brow and his mouth now a stern, unhappy line. Again Nick tried to move away, but Josh placed a palm on the side of his face and roughly turned his head so they were eye to eye. “Nick, what the fuck does that mean?” His voice was dangerously low. “What else have I done wrong?”
Nick stilled. He clenched his jaw and balled his fists against Josh’s chest.
“Nick? What?”
“Since we got back from Spain, you’ve hardly wanted me at all. It’s always me coming on to you.”
Josh gasped and widened his eyes. “What? That’s not true.”
“It is, you’re always tired, or busy or...”
“That’s crap!” Josh’s voice was full of disbelief. “I’ve wanted you of every minute of every day since the day we met. I still do. I will always want you.” He gripped Nick’s head in both hands, leaned forward and kissed him, devouring him hungrily and wildly.
Nick struggled against the kiss. Pushing and wriggling, his hands pulling at Josh’s tendon-rich forearms. “No.” Eventually he tore his mouth from Josh’s. “No, don’t kiss me.”
“Yes,” Josh growled, circling his arms around Nick’s shoulders and pulling him up tight. “Fucking yes. I will kiss you, because I do want you. You make me crazy for you.”
“The same way Laura does?” Nick shouted, banging his fists on Josh’s back, once, twice then clinging to him as though about to sag to the floor and the only thing that could hold him up was Josh.
“No, because you’re you. It’s different between us. Completely different.”
Nick seemed to find his strength and thumped Josh’s back with his fists again. “I don’t believe you. You’re just saying that.” He grabbed Josh’s shoulders and shoved. “There’s someone else in your life now. I know when I’m not wanted.”
But Nick couldn’t escape Josh’s steely hold, even when he put some serious muscle behind another whack to his shoulder.
Josh simply grunted, spun Nick within his arms, and pushed him over the island.
“Get the fuck off me,” Nick bellowed, flattening his palms on the granite surface to prevent his forehead from cracking down. His face was scarlet, his eyes flashing.
“No,” Josh growled in a voice I barely recognized. “You want me to show you how much I want you, I will. Right here, right now.”
“Jesus Christ, no...” Nick thrust his hips backward and went to stand. “Get the hell off me.”
Josh pushed him back over the island again, so he was bent at a right angle. He rammed his groin at Nick’s butt. “You want it, you’ll get it,” he said, curling one hand over the waistband of Nick’s black sweats and tugging them down.
I held my breath and stared, wide eyed as Nick’s taut butt cheeks were exposed. He wore black Calvin boxers and I could see the white writing on the waistband at the top of his hair-coated thighs.
Oh my God. Am I really going to hide here and watch this? Watch them have an angry fuck?
The kitchen seemed alive with their aggression, the strength of their limbs and the heat in their words. It was as though their unharnessed fury and passion was another living, breathing being.
I was as fascinated as I was terrified.
Josh was fumbling with his fly, one handedly releasing a zip that had only been done back up fifteen minutes ago. But then, although we’d been frantic, he’d been considerate. This was a different kind of passion. This was vying for control, being dominant. Fucking at its most basic.
“Josh, no,” Nick cried. But his words no longer matched his actions. Although he said no, his hand was down where his cock must be and his eyes had shut tight. He was no longer struggling to get up from the island. He was sprawled over it, waiting, sacrificial almost.
“I’m going to fuck you so damn hard. I’m going to fuck you so you scream my name and remember how much I fucking love you,” Josh said through gritted teeth. He tugged his erect shaft from the gap in his jeans.
My pussy clenched. The sight of Josh’s cock and the feral passion on his face would stay with me forever. This was not the same person who I’d gently seduced in Marbella. This was a man who had harnessed his sexuality and was using it in an extreme way.
I should go. This is wrong of me. This is adding to the wrongs I’ve already done.
I had to stay.

Josh grabbed a bottle of olive oil, tipped some on his dick and quickly rubbed. Instantly, it shone with grease. The swollen glans looked like a ripe, slick berry.
“Josh,” Nick groaned, reaching behind himself and pulling one of his butt cheeks, spreading himself open. “Josh, oh, God, please, no.”
I couldn’t see from my position beneath the window, but when Josh lined up his cock I knew he was aimed at Nick’s anus.
Josh dipped his head, his hair flopped forward. He locked his hands on Nick’s hips, and then, with a savage thrust, forged in.
Nick cried out, a long sharp wail. I stared at his contorted face. I understood the sensation of Josh riding in hard and fast and how it bombarded internal nerves with a trillion sensations. It was both wonderful and overwhelming being speared by that beautiful cock. Sting mixed with bliss, a stretch that bordered on torture but ended in ecstasy. What it would feel like up my ass, of course, I had no idea.
Josh let out a high-pitched hiss, his lips pulled back over his teeth. I thought he’d bottomed out but he jerked in harder, as if he’d never get deep enough.
“Oh fuck, you’ve made me so mad. I’m so fucking angry with you,” Nick shouted, hammering his fist on the island.
“You love me, as much as I love you,” Josh snarled. He withdrew his cock then slammed back in. “Can you feel how much I love you, how hard you make me? Fuck, I feel like all the blood in my body is in my dick. You drive me insane.” Josh tipped forward, his body covering Nick’s, his golden skin contrasting sharply with the red top Nick still wore. “You drive me insane with need. I could do this to you forever.”
“So why the fuck don’t you?”
“I will, I’m going to.”
Josh was thrusting to a frantic pace, shunting Nick’s whole body with each pound. I could make out the dimple in Josh’s butt cheek, the one facing me, filling and hollowing as he released the power of his damn fine muscles. The sound of slapping flesh filtered out the window, combining with their harsh breaths and grunts and gasps.
“Yeah, like that, like that,” Nick cried.
“You’re feeling it now, huh?” Josh’s words were muffled, he was speaking against Nick’s neck. “You feel me loving you, wanting you?”
“Oh, God, oh...oh...”
Josh reared up. I saw beads of sweat in the center of his chest and was momentarily aware of moisture popping on my own cleavage. I was so turned on. My pussy buzzed, and my clit had swollen against my already very damp panties.
Nick was going to come. Josh was screwing him with gusto, riding into him, claiming him. If that had been me on the table with Josh fucking my pussy, I would have come by now. Hell, I’d be flying to heaven on a one-way ticket.
I stared at Nick’s upstretched face and became utterly captivated. Wild fury had turned into primitive need. As fierce as his rage had been only minutes ago, now his frantic desire matched that heat. His eyes were tight shut, his dark eyebrows pulled low and his lips were spread wide, in a grimace, showing off all his teeth. His neck was strained, each cord and tendon tight, and his thick layer of black stubble glistened, beaded with sweat.
“Argh, you bastard...” Nick shouted.
“Say my name,” Josh ordered, clamping one hand over Nick’s shoulder and pulling him backward with each upward thrust he gave. “Say my fucking name while you come. So you know that I love you, that I will always love you.”
“No, fuck it, no.”
“Say it, say it. Say my name.”
“No, no...argh...” Nick dropped his head to the granite. He splayed his fingers and for a moment seemed to freeze. Then he trembled and shook, writhed on the counter.
“Damn you,” Josh snarled. “Damn it, Nick. I’m fucking showing you how much” He let out a long, low moan. “Oh, God, I’ sorry.” He froze with his face tipped to the ceiling, his hair falling back and his eyes shut. “Oh, fuck, fuck...” He hung his head. Moisture poured from his eyes and glistened on his cheeks.
Josh was crying.

I hope you enjoyed that snippet, taken from about midway through the novel. It was a hot and at times heavy subject to tackle, a woman coming into a gay marriage and mixing things up, but it was fun to write and I have to say, I did feel a little jealous of Laura at times :-)

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Thanks for stopping by.

Lily x

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