Sunday, February 24, 2013

"You Might Be A Pervert If..." Release Day Edition

So I had this big, huge plan for today's blog. I was going to talk about why I believe that love is like gravity. I was going to be all lovey and sappy and cheesy and all that gooey stuff. You know, I was going to be like I always am. But then I unexpectedly changed my mind (ha, like that's never happened before) when I was struck with a random thought. Or in my typically wordy ways, I had a moment of conversational clarity that went a little something like this...

Hey. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm celebrating...a book release, a website launch, and an anniversary - all rolled in one. Why am I not partying? Get out the balloons, confetti, and cake, baby.

Of course, I immediately jumped on that bandwagon. I was all for the idea of a party, especially if it included games. Yep, I know that is a shocker. I wanted to play a game. Go figure. Only what to choose, what to choose. Red balloons, multi-colored confetti, and chocolate cake were a given. But what about a game...

As luck would have it, my adorable hubby provided me with the perfect game without even realizing he was doing it. He came into my office grumbling about how he'd ordered a pump, a fan, an o-ring, a new set of clamps, and some fluid. Me being oblivious to what he's talking about, I immediately went into the gutter. I'm like, "Why is he so darned annoyed that he bought new toys to play with?" Then it hit me like a Mack truck. "Duh! He's fixing his car." Uable to control myself, I gave him a big grin and a bold wink and murmured, "You might be a pervert if..." Let's just say that that was the beginning of the end at my house.

Now here I am, several days later, still playing and wanting to play with you, too. So how about it? Do you want to play You Might be a Pervert If... Man, I really hope you do because I'm giving away a $25 gift certificate to Extreme Restraints to one lucky commenter. All you have to do is fill in the following blank, "You might be a pervert if...____________." Leave your answer in the comments along with your email address. On Wednesday, I will draw one winner, and that person will really get to play. Wink, wink.

So here we go. I'm going to get you started with a few of my own:

You might be a pervert want to visit Thailand, merely so you can say you visited Bangcock. Although, if you want to get technical, that is only one of the many naughty-named places you want to go. You wouldn't want to forget: Climax, Colorado; Dildo, Newfoundland and Labrador; Condom, France; Lord Buckley's Knob in Scotland. And the list goes on and on.

You might be a pervert were bored while learning about 4-cycle engines - until the teacher said four magical words: suck, squish, bang, and blow. That perked you right up. And boy oh boy, after that, you were the star pupil.

You might be a pervert snickered when you heard that Danica Patrick was the first ever female polesitter. Then again, you might be a real pervert if you started thinking about all those men and their polesitting ways.

You might be a pervert shop for your handcuffs in a Ninja (my affectionate way of saying a martial arts supply) store. Hey, their cuffs are better quality than what the local sex shop sells.

You might be a pervert watch "How It's Made: Turbochargers" and giggle madly while listening to some obviously bored-stiff (please do not excuse the pun) guy talks about lubricants, shafts, inserting, and grinding. Yeah, yeah. My pun was gratuitous. But I couldn't help myself.

You might be a pervert can't make it through the commercial for 'Meow Mix Tender Centers' without laughing. Seriously, the cats sing, "I like crunchy. I like meaty. Tender centers satisfy completely. I like salmon. I like chicken. Tender centers means twice the licking..." Hello? A perv couldn't make it through that. That would be like putting a honeypot in front of a bear.

Now it's your turn...Hit me with your best shot in the comments below. Also, if you have a minute, swing by my brand spanking new website at It is filled with all kinds of naughtiness as well as information on me, my three unorthodox Kansas towns, and more. Oh! Yeah, one last thing. I have a new book called Bound by Love's Gravity out today at Siren-Bookstrand. Hope you'll check it out. This is the first book in my newest series, The Doms of Kinky, Kansas, and I'm super-excited about it.

Hope you all have a magnificent Monday. XOXOXO!

Love and cherries,

p.s. Please note that when I say pervert, I mean it in the most affectionate of terms. :)

Bound by Love's Gravity
The Doms of Kinky, Kansas Book 1


 Love is like gravity—inescapable, undeniable, and impossible to resist.

Sarah Matthews can’t escape her feelings for the man she’s loved her entire life any more than she can elude the emotions his partner stirs inside her.

Deke Andrews is unable to deny his craving for the woman he won’t take as his own, just as he is incapable of restraining the hunger his lover rouses within him.

Adam Stanton is the man caught between them, the man who knows resisting the passion he feels for his lover and the most enchanting woman he’s ever known is futile.

When these three succumb to the powerful pull linking them, they don’t anticipate the fire they’re igniting. As their lust burns out of control, their love binds them tightly together. The tie is stronger than the bondage rope the Doms take pleasure in wielding. But will their connection save them from a deranged man desperate to defy love’s gravity?


Panic gripped Sarah in its vicious claws and fear shredded her soul as she watched the kitchen door swing shut for the last time. No! Her body screamed. Not this time. Without thinking, she chased after Deke.

Rushing through the kitchen then the living room, Sarah didn’t give a second thought about anything in her path. She hastily weaved through the maze of boxes, jumping over some things and kicking aside others.

 “Deke,” she yelled as soon as she stepped outside her apartment. Turning her head first left then right, she searched for him in the lengthy hallway. Like earlier, he was taking the stairs. But she wasn’t about to let that happen.

Predictably, the stubborn man ignored her. Other than a slight stiffening, he gave no indication that he’d even heard her. But she noticed the way his sleek, powerful body tautened for a split second. Aha!

“Stop, Deke,” she said again, her voice less loud but no less firm. Then she pulled out the big guns. “Please.”

She heard him curse a second before he came to a complete halt. He exhaled through his teeth, the hiss sounding noisy in the silence of the hallway, and spun back to face her. His expression caused her to pause. He was arctic, colder than anything she’d ever seen before. And his eyes, oh boy, his dark eyes were bleak, the brown depths raw with something she couldn’t explain. It was beyond pain. It superseded grief. He was like a man who’d lost the world. Then with a blink of his eyes, the despair was gone. In its place was disdain.

“What?” he demanded. “I have important things to be doing, Sarah.”

She wanted to ask, Am I not important? But that was childish, not to mention pointless. Deke might be distant, and he might be cold. Heck, he was an all-around pain in the bottom sometimes. But he cared. And that scared him, just like it scared her.

“Don’t leave,” she said, not worrying about the quaver in her voice. “I–I have some things I need to talk to you about.”

Deke didn’t even blink. “No you don’t. You have Adam. Talk to him.”

Sarah shook her head. “I need to talk to both of you.”

Silently, Deke stood there, frowning. But he didn’t leave. That’s what Sarah cared about.

One moment passed, then another, and Deke still did nothing. Neither did Sarah. She simply waited, her feet remaining rooted to the carpeted floor. She didn’t move. She struggled to even breathe.

While she stood frozen, Adam joined her and Deke in the desolate hallway. He cleared his throat. “Why don’t we head inside?” he half-suggested, half-demanded. “This is hardly the time or place.”

Still neither she nor Deke spoke.

Glowering, Adam planted his huge hand on her hip. The heat of his skin bled through her skirt and into her flesh, but she ignored it. Deke, however, did not. He glared venomously at Adam’s possessive touch. “I think that’s a damn good idea,” he snapped. “We need to get a few things straight.”

Surprisingly, Deke was on her and Adam before she could catch her breath. He advanced on them, backing both her and Adam into the apartment then slamming the door behind him. As soon as they were alone, Deke growled at Adam. And Adam growled back.

Sarah eyed one man, then the other. Suddenly, she felt like the weak prey thrown between an African lion and an Asian tiger. Oh, purple pickle eater. What do I do now?

But Sarah didn’t have to do anything. Deke did it for her. He charged straight for Adam and grabbed the collar of his lover’s cashmere sweater before hauling Adam up against him. Then he did the last thing Sarah expected. He slammed his lips onto Adam’s.

Their kiss was hot, fiery enough to start a blaze in a torrential downpour, and Sarah gasped as the flames coming off them touched her, licking at her flesh. Heat caressed every inch of her, and she felt a rope tugging her toward them as though she should be between them, as if she should go to them. But she didn’t.

Instead, she watched Deke and Adam in fascination as their passion exploded. They ravaged each other. Their tongues came out and clashed. She heard the sounds of their harsh, choppy breaths. And oh, goodness, the tension coiled between them—so much arousal, so much anger. It shouldn’t excite Sarah. Yet it did.

Then suddenly, Deke broke the kiss with a groan. “Stop pushing this,” he snapped. “Stop pushing me.”

Adam glared at Deke with eyes that spoke of love, lust, and absolute, undiluted fury. “No.” That was all he said—nothing more, nothing less.

Deke frowned. “Adam Blake Stanton, back the fuck off.”

“No,” Adam repeated.

“Yes,” Deke growled.

Sarah felt silly standing there in silence. There was so much to say, and she didn’t know where to start. Finally, she managed to croak, “Deke.”

Without releasing Adam, Deke turned and looked at her. “What?” he barked. Then something inside Deke changed. He went stone cold, his face closing up. But his eyes remained angry. For some reason, Sarah sensed that his anger had nothing to do with her or Adam. She just didn’t know why.

Only Deke didn’t give her a chance to ask. He dropped Adam then gave them both his back. A second later, he was gone from the room. Although, at least this time he didn’t leave the apartment. He merely stalked into the kitchen.

Sarah sighed. “I’ll be back,” she murmured before touching Adam’s arm then brushing a kiss on his cheek. “Deke needs me.”

She knew that her words were true. Deke needed her right now, even more than Adam did. And Adam clearly knew it, too, because he nodded and said, “Go.”


 No sooner than Deke shut the door to their apartment, Adam had Sarah in his arms, threading his sizable hands through her hair. “Kiss me,” he whispered in a dark, sensual, irrefutable voice as he lowered his head to hers.

Unable and unwilling to fight him, Sarah wound her arms around Adam’s strong neck and claimed his lips. Hesitant at first, her passion swelled as their closed mouths moved together sensuously. Desperately, she hungered for a taste of him, craving the wholly male flavor she knew only he had.

Opening her lips in blatant invitation, she silently implored Adam to do the same. Immediately, he did, and she inhaled him, sweeping her tongue inside and curling it around his. Twining their tongues together, she mated them as one.

Silently, Deke approached her from behind, pressing his overwhelmingly powerful body to hers. He anchored his hands on her hips, the heat scorching her from the inside out, and she squirmed. A moan erupted from her throat, only the wanton sound never escaped because Adam absorbed it, heightening the intensity of their kiss, taking control and consuming her all at once.

Deke tightened his grip on her hips, digging his long fingers into her flesh until moving was no longer an option. He ground his rock-hard erection against her backside, murmuring, “See what you do to me, Sarah. You make me ache for you. My dick is throbbing, demanding I fuck you right now.” He swooped his head down, nuzzling the curve of her neck. “Do you know what I want to do?”

She shivered, knowing whatever he was about to say would melt her faster than cotton candy in a feverish mouth.

“I want to unzip my pants, jerk your dress up, and bury myself inside you. No preliminaries. No foreplay. Just raw, pure fucking—hard, fast, and furious. Then I want to hear you come. I want to feel your pussy clamp down on my cock, milking every damn ounce out of me.”

Oh yes. If Adam would release her lips, she would have willingly begged Deke to do just what he wanted. She would have jerked her own dress up and bent over for him. She was that ready. But of course, Adam didn’t stop. He continued his toe-curling, panty-dropping kiss.

“Do you know what Adam wants to do, sub?” Deke breathed against her neck. “He wants to do the exact same thing.”

Adam pulled away quickly. “Yes I do,” he declared then reclaimed her lips, barely giving her time to catch her breath.

Deke glided his hands down over her hips to the hem of the formfitting dress she’d worn just for them. “Foreplay is overrated sometimes,” he murmured as he toyed with the fabric’s edge. “Considering we’ve been preparing you for a week now, I think you’re ready to take us. Hell, I’m willing to bet you’re dripping wet at the thought of it.”

He had no idea. She whimpered.

“Let’s see,” Deke said, sliding his hands underneath her dress and lifting the material gradually, his movements deliberate and unhurried. He guided the fabric—up and up—until it bunched at her waist. “Is our sub’s pussy wet?”

Does a spanked bottom turn red? Boy, it was a good thing her mouth was occupied. Otherwise, she would have learned all about red bottoms rather than being kissed within an inch of her life by one of her Doms while awaiting the adept touch of the other. And that would have been an erotic tragedy.

Unexpectedly, Adam’s lax hold on her hair tensed as he seized a fistful of the strands and tugged mercilessly. The surprisingly severe sting stole over her scalp, and she moaned.

Adam released her lips with a tormented groan. “God. You’re killing me, Sarah.”

“Me too,” she squeaked as Deke slipped his hand between her body and Adam’s then directed it downward. “I’m dying here.”

“Not yet, sub.” Deke’s hand continued its descent, gliding much too lazily, far too casually, for her impatient hormones. “But you will be by the time we let you come.”

Sarah shuddered. “Please. Don’t torture me. Touch me.”

Flashing one of his charming smiles, Adam asked shamelessly, “Who said anything about torturing you? We’re merely going to love you and worship your exquisite body.”

Deke cupped her mound. “If she’s a good girl, we will. If she starts making demands like she just did, I’ll show her the meaning of torture.”

Lust flared in her body. The prospect of being punished by her Doms had her blood boiling in her veins, her heart hammering in her chest, and she had to bite back a plea for more.

Adam pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. “I’ll help you, Deke.”

“That goes without saying,” Deke countered as he finally burrowed between her slick folds. “Two Doms means double the pleasure and double the punishment for our sub. She knew that when she agreed to belong to us.”

“I did know.” She gulped. “I do know.” And I’m not likely to forget.

“Good girl,” Adam praised. “You know exactly what you want. Don’t you?”

She nodded, squirming when Deke grazed her clitoris with the pad of his finger on his path to her weeping entrance. “Yes,” she hissed as he invaded her pussy with a single finger. “I want you. I want Deke.”

“There’s no question you want us, sub,” Deke announced as he added a second finger then a third, slipping them in before sliding them back out. “Your soaked pussy says that loud and clear.” As though proving his point, Deke quickened his tempo, the sound of his digits sluicing through her copious juices singing through the heavy, sex-scented air. “The question is what do you want to do with us?”

“You know,” she panted.

“I want to hear you say it. Say the word, Sassy.”



ChristyHebert said...

You might be a pervert if...You can't watch a football game without laughing hysterically when the announcers use phrases like...deep penetration on the tight end or roughing the passer! Hahaha :0)

ChristyHebert said... email address is

Diana Merritt said...

You might be a pervert if you see an ad for a butter dish and it says spreader included and you get excited.

RoseRaven said...

You might be a pervert if... You spew coffee all over your computer because your laughing hysterically because you have already thought about all the hunky Nascar drivers and their pole sitting positions. Sorry but I had to go there. My roommate is a total Nascar freak and watches it religiously. I really have thought about how some of those hunky drivers would use their poles. Hmm, now I have to go drool over Tony Stewart and Carl Edwards some more.

Lisa Carlton said...

You might be a pervert if....when womans curling is on TV and they are screaming HURRY HARD you mind goes to the sex marathon you had the night before....I know its

My email is

Shadow said...

Congrats!! It sounds awesome! And hot! Hehe
You might be a pervert when you watch tv and every commercial comes on, you think at least one perverted thing about it. lol

MiaAshlinn said...

OMG, Christy Hebert. I didn't think of that one. But I totally do that! :)

I absolutely love the way you think, Diana. :)

RoseRaven, I love me some Carl Edwards. He's totally adorable! And I have a thing for men who can be sexy, smart, and adorable...all at the same time.

Lisa, there's nothing wrong with cheesy. ;) Cheesy can be very, very good.

Shadow, I have a feeling you and I would enjoy watching commercials together. My hubby has resorted to shaking his head whenever I blush or say something naughty while sitting there. :)

And...drumroll please...the winner is: Shadow! Congrats! I will be sending you an email shortly.

Thank you everyone for coming and playing. I have truly enjoyed your "You might be a pervert if..." comments! :)